Who Needs Sleep?

I still struggled to sleep even though I was making huge strides.  I had been informed that I would be released from in-patient therapy On November 22.  I was thrilled and terrified all at the same time.  I was so homesick for our girls, our home, different food, and normalcy.  However, I was terrified that I wasn't ready.  I still had so many deficits.  Yes, I was walking on my own but it would only take an unexpected nudge from my girls to knock me over.  I was doing many daily tasks (cooking, practicing applying diapers to a doll, etc.) that I knew that I could do everything I needed to at home, but I was so slow at it.  My girls wouldn't understand slow.

It was during this time when Patrick and I started to discuss being transferred to a skilled nursing facility after I was discharged from Covenant.  Of course, it was all up to insurance but eventually we got it cleared.  I just wanted a little more time to become comfortable with my deficits.  A skilled nursing environment still offered PT and OT sessions, although much less, and 24/7 care.  But the care was not really given unless I asked for it.  Simply put, I was essentially on my own but I had help immediately if I needed it.

My emotions were up and down.  One minute I was confident and the next I was worrying.  It was like a never ending battle.  Patrick came across this excerpt in his book and it soothed me.  I felt compelled to post it on Facebook.

Facebook post from November 17,2013

My emotions were all over this weekend. I blame the stroke for 50%, crazy pregnant lady hormones for 25%, and the fact that I have only slept six hours the whole weekend for the other 25%.

This is another excerpt from the book Patrick is reading. It hit me pretty hard tonight considering most of my worry and frustrations are based on the fact that I want things to improve much faster than they are. Darn that impatient bone I have.