Facebook post from Patrick on November 21, 2013
TRANSFERRED!!!!! Today is a bittersweet day to say the least. Bitter as we say goodbye to our resting spot for the past three weeks and the INCREDIBLE staff of Covenant Rehabilitation. Yet sweet as Jamie Smith is one step closer to being home. Jamie was transferred to New Aldaya here in Cedar Falls and will continue her therapies a lit bit closer to home!! We both want to recognize these three incredible therapists for their assistance, guidance, and encouragement while at Covenant!! Thank you Katie, Chrissy, and Brook!! On to our new temporary home....
Right before we left an older gentleman that Patrick had met at the Chapel came to visit me. He shared his story of recovery from the two strokes he had suffered and wanted to show and assure me that their was life after a stroke. There was also another former patient that I had met who I connected with. She was 32 with four kids under the age of 7. She had suffered a stroke on Father's Day and five months later looked completely normal. These types of people served as inspiration to me.
But for some reason after the room was cleared and it was just Patrick and I, a wave of panic overcame me. By this time the fact that I had a stroke had finally hit me. What had recently started to hit me was the severity of it. I could have died. Do you have any idea how hard that is to think or say that? I could have died. I had a bleed in my brain stem. The area of the brain that controls all necessary bodily functions. I could have died.
Yet, I was happy, positive, determined, and taking it all in stride. I honestly just thought of it as, "this happened, now let's get better." Why was I so naive? Was I grieving the right way? If I wasn't grieving the right way was I heading for a lifetime of anxiety and depression? Was there something wrong with me? Why wasn't I a wreck? Why wasn't I scared or discouraged?
As with all my bad moments, it didn't take me long to shake myself out of it. I realized that I was doing great. I was choosing to smell the roses rather than walk right past them. I was choosing to beat my stroke rather than let it beat me.
After we left Covenant Patrick and I went to Target quick. Patrick ran in to our friend and explained that we were heading to Olive Garden to celebrate and then checking in to skilled nursing. We went over to eat and when our bill came it was explained to us that our friend had called and covered our bill. It is times like these when you are just uplifted and inspired by someones thoughtfulness.
We checked in to skilled nursing right after lunch. It was quite different from rehab. Instead of being surrounded by others who were of various ages and recovering from various injuries, I was surrounded by lots of old people. I was out of place big time. I got a lot of stares and it was quite uncomfortable.
By this time, my eyes were getting a little better. I no longer saw a zillion images. Instead, I would see two images, with the produced image about two feet to the left of the actual image. Everything on the right side of the room was shifted to the left. For example, if I was looking at a wall that had two doors 6 feet away from one another I would see three doors. I would see a door two feet to the left on the door that was actually on the left. I would see the door on the left where it actually was. The door that was six feet to the right of that, ended up right beside the door on the left.
My right eye had also turned completely in towards my nose. My right eye still struggled to move past mid-line but was getting a little bit better tracking at an appropriate speed. I still had a distorted view of the mid-line of my body. I would still look at a person from the side and think that my head was straight. As always, when I had my eye patch on, I could see completely normal.
I was moving well on my own. My balance was still a bit shaky when challenged, especially when I had to do exercises that involved closing my eyes. Overall though I was very happy with where I was at PT wise.
My left hand still was weak and struggled to listen. My thumb, pointer finger, and ring finger had started to fire a bit more on command. My ring finger and pinky were still stubborn as hell. I was able to do many more fine motor activities. I could pick up pretty much anything no matter the size or shape. Long, skinny, plastic items were still the hardest though. It became easier to do the little things; pull up my pants, hold a container, etc.
My body was still very stiff and lacking sensation. I no longer tingled but my extremities still felt wooden. I still couldn't feel touch or pressure so it was still challenging to complete certain therapy exercises.
On a positive note, I started to feel "Pajamie" kick for the first time! Pajamie is the nickname my sister-in-law called our unborn baby. It is Patrick and Jamie combined; like a celebrity nickname. ;-) We started calling her Pajamie so we wouldn't always have to say "the baby." It was so comforting to feel her move. She gave me company and it just filled me with joy. To me, her movement was a sign that she was growing and she was strong. During my previous three pregnancies there would be times where I would want the kicking to stop because it would be hard to sleep at times. Now, I just prayed that she would kick and never stop! I didn't care if I ever slept. I wanted her there with me.
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