Shine Your Light

I mention often when I write that I want to learn from my stroke.  I want my illness to be something that is helpful and positive rather than scary and pitied.  I am too much of a coward to be interviewed or do public speaking events so I decided to write a blog instead. It was my hope when I started my blog for it to aid me in my recovery and be a keepsake of my journey for my girls and my family.   I also hoped that it would be helpful for others who were struggling with various issues.

I have had many people message me since beginning of my journey.  Most people express how much my positivity, honesty, and faith have helped inspire them to slow down, gain perspective, and be better.  Others message me and share their stories of personal struggle and extend their appreciation to me for being brave enough to share my story so publicly.  I had yet to have someone contact me that has my exact condition though.

Until today.  I woke up this morning to an email from a women whose daughter suffered from a bleed due to a cavernoma malformation in the Pons of her brain stem in February.  We have the exact same condition.  (I have not asked for permission to share her story so I will not be discussing the specifics of it.)  I read the email and my first feeling was heartbreak.  I could instantly relate to her.  Without her even mentioning it, I immediately understood every fear, worry, emotion, and struggle she was experiencing.  It broke my heart to know that there was a beautiful young woman out there suffering from this condition.  It just simply isn't fair.  It's not fair that me, or anyone else, has to live with this.

My next feeling was gratitude.  I was so grateful that she had stumbled across my blog as she was researching her daughter's condition.  I was glad that it had been helpful to her and that they were finding some answers.  I still remember researching on my own.  Everything I found was terrifying.  Until I found Lisanne's blog, Windless Dandelion Wishes.  She also had my condition and had recently had surgery to remove it.  She was honest about her experience, but best of all, positive about it.  She also knew and wrote of others like us.  I still remember reading it and finally feeling hope and relief.  Most of all, I didn't feel alone anymore.  To know that my blog did that for someone is so personally gratifying, but more importantly, I am so overjoyed that someone else is learning that they can survive this and they are not alone.  Those feelings in themselves are so powerful in dealing with the many daily struggles that accompany this illness.

I wrote a Facebook post announcing my condition when I found out about my CM.  I ended that post by stating:

Do Better. Be Better. This was just a silly thing I said the day after my stroke that has blossomed in to something that I hold dear to my heart. Please take a minute to really think about what this means to you in your life. Be the good in this world. It needs a few more people to shine a light. Shine yours bright.

I feel as though this blog is helping me shine my light.  This is just the beginning though.  I don't want my light to be a flashlight, I want it to be the light of a lighthouse! ;).  Be a lighthouse with me.