About two weeks after I had my stroke, I was asked if I would allow KWWL to feature me in their Someone You Should Know segment (SYSK). I was deep in to my first week of therapy at Covenant rehabilitation. I vividly remember just starting my PT session when my PT told me that the hospital had been contacted by the station. She told me that they had heard of my story and seen my posts on Facebook and really wanted to share my story. And then she asked, "so, what do you think?"
What did I think?
Instant panic and fear rushed through me. Before she even finished explaining everything to me I had already decided that I wasn't going to do it. I was terrified about being the center of attention; the camera, the spotlight, who was watching. I was embarrassed about the way I looked. Quite simply, I no longer had an ounce of confidence left. Plus, everything that had happened was still so raw and fresh in my mind that I didn't think I was ready to handle it emotionally. It is much easier to sit behind my iPad and write than it is to speak of my story sometimes, especially in the beginning. When I write I take my time, cry as much as I want, and I never have to worry about forgetting something important. I never gave it more than 15 seconds of thought and I regretted it.
But, I got another chance. Shortly after I had Myah, KCRG contacted me and asked to do a segment on me. Once again, I turned them down. Even though I regretted my decision months prior to that, I still wasn't ready. I just wasn't.
Then, last Tuesday night, Ryan Downs, owner of Next Level Extreme Fitness, messaged me and told me that he had nominated me for the SYSK segment and that Ashley Davis, from KWWL, would be calling me on Wednesday. Patrick and I had just put the girls down and had just sat down to watch some TV. My reaction? All I said was,"oh shit." I panicked again. My heart instantly started racing. The first thing I wanted to do was say thanks, but no thanks. Instead, feeling the peer pressure, I expressed how nervous I already was for it and how honored I was by the nomination. He replied with, "Don't be nervous :) because I am making you do it!" For those of you that know Downs you can totally picture that, right? ;)
The next day I was still undecided as to whether I was going to agree to the interview. I was terrified, but I ultimately determined that I could not let my fears stop me from experiencing life or from helping others. I do not know what my future holds for me and I want my kids to remember me as I am now. This segment was the perfect avenue to show them that. In addition, if there is someone out there that can be helped by my story, I want to help them. I figured God was giving me a pretty big nudge to do this considering this was the third time that I had been asked. I have to let those nudges guide me more often than I do.
Ashley and I set up an interview date for Friday. She was going to film me at the 4:30 p.m. NLXF gauntlet, interview Downs, and then come over to our home to film us as a family and interview Patrick and I. The entire day I was so nervous I was sick. Upset tummy, racing heart, couldn't eat; just an absolute hot mess. My Dad and Mom met me at home before workout because they were going to help pick up the kids from school, feed them supper, and entertain them throughout the night. Seeing them, plus a few silly snap chats from friends, helped calm me a bit before class.
Once I got to the gym, I was nervous all over again. But Patrick and my close group of friends arrived shortly after I did and it turned in to just another day. Ashley arrived around 5 p.m. and filmed the remainder of class. IT WAS A HARD CLASS!! The clocks had been taken off the walls and there was no drink break. Typical week 5 gauntlet.
After class Patrick and I rushed home, showered, ate, and helped my parents get the girls ready. Ashley arrived around 6:30 and away we went. Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous. I am not sure if it was because I had used up all of my nerves throughout the day, or that I was on a workout high, that Ashley was awesome, or I was simply comfortable being in our home with our girls and my parents. It was definitely weird trying to act normal with a camera set up in the corner of our living room!
Ashley stayed for two hours. She was exceptional. The kids became her best friends instantly and she was so laid back that it put us at ease too. During her time at the house she filmed us as a family and interviewed Patrick and I. We talked about everything: the week of my stroke, rehab, Myah's pregnancy and birth, my blog, the Do Better. Be Better. motto, the benefit, color run, and scholarship, NLXF Adopt-A-Family, Patrick's perspective, how much we love our army, how grateful we are for NLXF, Downs, the trainers, and the people of NLXF, and what I have learned and how I have changed. 15 1/2 months rolled up in to two hours of video. There was so much to explain that I just kept saying, "I feel like I am just rambling!" I have absolutely no idea how she edited all of that footage to 2 minutes. But she did, and it was perfect.
My parents left shortly after Ashley. They gave all of us hugs and complemented us on how well we had done. They expressed how proud they were of us and how excited they were to see it. I was so grateful to have them there. Not just because it was so helpful to have them help with the girls, but I wanted them to see us, see me, tell my story. I wanted them to hear it all. I wanted them to go through this experience with me.
Sunday came quickly. That day Ashley tweeted and shared our story on Facebook. KWWL also posted our story to their Facebook page. It was liked 1,292 times, shared 93 times, and had 32 comments. And Twitter too!...I actually set up a Twitter account over the weekend so I could see it all. Ashley also shared some other pictures we took that night. ;-) Jaelyn insisted that we take a funny family picture. And Patrick insisted on sending our friends a picture of him in Ashley's KWWL coat.  |
We DVR'd every news broadcast. My heart beat so forcefully as I watched the 5pm promo that I am sure you could see it through my chest. It is very strange to watch yourself on TV. I critiqued everything I said and did the first few times I watched. My mom called immediately after it aired, explaining that it looked great and that they were excited to see the rest. After we hung up, we had the girls come in to the living room and watch it with us. They all immediately starting screaming, "there's Mommy!" and then, "that's me!" as they saw themselves. We had told them that Ashley was at our house to make a movie project for us as I had just completed a project for my brother and sister. We didn't know how they would behave on Friday night if they knew it was for TV; they tend to get a little shy with that type of stuff. So, they were very surprised to see themselves on TV.
We didn't let the girls stay up for the 10 pm broadcast. I wasn't nearly as nervous watching it. I watched the TV, seeing and knowing it was me...us....our family....my story, but being in complete disbelief that it actually was me and my story. As I have said a million times before, I still cannot believe that any of this has happened. Patrick and I even chuckled a little when the news anchor switched the Do Better. Be Better. motto around at the end of the segment. We may have watched it a few times. ;-)
The next morning, we got the girls ready and watched it with them. They were still just as excited to see themselves and even more excited to see their new friend, Ashley. It was really quite cute.
Read the article by clicking here!
So how do I feel about this experience? Grateful, lucky, and blessed. I am once again indebted to Ryan Downs for nominating me for this and "forcing" me to do it. I am extremely appreciative to Ashley for her professionalism and positive demeanor. I absolutely loved the story and we will cherish it forever. I am blessed to have family that help us at the drop of a hat and lucky to have friends that will switch their day around to come support me through a workout, or send me hilarious snap chats, and encouraging and supportive messages. I am proud of myself for overcoming all of my fears from day one to now.
Most importantly, I am grateful that God has helped me find my way. He has given me the ability and strength to recover. He has protected our family. He has put people in our lives that are His angels on Earth. And finally, I am grateful that He continues to give me the gentle nudges that guide me to do His work.
This entire experience was definitely one for the memory books.
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