Fight Back with Joy

There are many times in a day that I think to myself, "I would have never made it through all of this without _____."  That blank is filled by many things, but almost always it is filled by either my family or my friends.  The amount of kindness and encouragement I have been given and continue to receive is immeasurable.  Nearly everyday I have someone tell me they are praying for me, or I have a nice email, message, or post on my wall, or am simply welcomed by a huge smile, happy hello, and a warm hug by those around me.

I am also constantly asked how I continue to be strong, positive, and happy.  That answer is easy.

I AM because of YOU.

Reread my first paragraph.  It is impossible to feel Void of joy with what I encounter on a daily basis.

All of the messages I get are game changers for me.  Some inspire me, some motivate me, some teach me, and some make me feel like my heart could burst.  And some just click.

I was sent an email yesterday from one of my friends that said the following:

I love this author, and reading it made me instantly think of you. You fight everyday with joy and hope. You have taught us all so much.

http://www.shaunaniequist.com/fight-back-joy/

The words in her email alone made me tear up.  It is still unfathomable to me that people tell me that they learn from me.  Shoot, half the time I feel like I am barely holding on.  Like I am a floating bubble ready to pop at any minute. 

The link sent me to the blog of author, Sahuna Niequist.  The blog post was about a book entitled, Fight Back With Joy, written by her close friend, Margaret Feinberg.  Margaret is currently battling cancer.  An excerpt of the book follows a brief introduction of their friendship and Margaret's history.

Tears slowly fell as I read it.  I was emotional because I could relate on so many levels; right down to her explaining about how her husband could read her eyes.  And then as I continued to read it, something clicked.  Here are bits and pieces of what I found as my learning moment:    

It’s one thing to hunt for joy in the relatively good times of life, but to squint for it in the dark shadows. No one signs up for that assignment. No one.

......sooner or later we all find ourselves on the battlefield.

Sometimes you choose the fight. Sometimes the fight chooses you.

......All who find themselves in a confrontation—one they choose or one that is thrust upon them—face an important choice: What will you choose for weaponry?

.....We can choose to fight back with the crossbow of cynicism or sling arrows of spite. Like a throwing star, we may choose sharp complaints. Like a whip, we may attempt to control every little detail. Or perhaps, like me, a natural lover more than fighter, you’re drawn to the circular shield of denial and withdrawal.

 .....When it comes to the fights of life, we need joy to be our companion. 

I didn't choose this fight.  This fight definitely chose me.  But I did chose the weaponry of joy.  Actually, joy found me.  More so, joy is given to me.

Patrick gives me joy every minute of every day.  I feel it each time he tells me that I am strong and thanks me for fighting back and staying with him.   He gives me joy in the many ways he shows true selflessness for my well-being.  And there is no greater joy in the world than watching him be a father to our daughters.  The highlight of my day is watching the reaction of the girls when he gets home.  The big three race to the door, screaming Daddy at the top of their lungs, and about knock him over with the force of their hugs as he enters our home.  All the while, Myah crawls as fast as she can right behind them, stops, sits down, and claps and giggles until he picks her up.  That is the definition of joy.

My daughters each give me joy in their own ways.  Seeri in the way that she cares for and helps others.  Jaelyn through her spunk and zest for life.  Linden with her big smile and sweet "I love you's."  And Myah with her constant need to just BE with me.  They give me joy when they tell me to put a band-aid on my head so I can get better; ah, their innocence is beautiful.  Their hugs, their smiles, their silly faces; they just make me want to burst with joy.

My parents give me joy every time they tell me they are proud of me and in the ways that they still take care of their little girl.  My entire family gives me joy by pursuing their dreams and happiness; getting married, having babies, excelling in their careers and interests.  They are a powerful example of what it means to fight through the shadows and find a light.  They are always by our sides encouraging and supporting us.  We are never alone because of all of them.

My friends give me joy through the continual thoughtfulness and kindness they extend to me and my family.  If I embark on a new endeavor, they are always there to support me.  If I feel ill, they check-up on me.  If I am sad, they listen.  If I am happy, they celebrate with me.  They are more than friends.  They are family.

So, what is my weaponry in this fight?

The JOY that YOU ALL give me.

Thank you.