I have a clever friend who always like to define words to make a point in conversation. It sounds silly, but it always brings a smile to my face. I thought I would take a cue from him for this post.
Why. This word has become my most single hated word in the English language. It is predominately used to ask a question: Why is? Why does, did, didn't? Why have? Why not?
Why me?
Why me? It is nearly impossible to refrain from asking this question when tragedy strikes. It is a natural reaction and it is damaging when asked too often. Have I looked up to the sky or closed my eyes really tight in frustration or worry and asked 'why me?' in the last fourteen months?
Absolutely.
Why did I have a stroke? Why do I have a rare brain condition? Why did it effect my vision? Why did it happen at such a young age? Why do I have permanent deficits?
Why did it happen to me?
It took me awhile to realize that the above question is completely selfish and awful to ask. By asking it, I am inadvertently inferring that I wish it would have happened to someone else. That is the last thing I would EVER wish for. Plus, no matter how many times I ask the 'why' questions the answers to them never change. They are fixed.
So instead I have tried to ask 'why me?' in a different context. As in, why have YOU chosen ME? When I ask the question this way, my stroke, my condition, and my recovery become purposeful. I find myself asking 'what can I do?' and 'how can I help?' much more often.
My focus when I had my stroke was solely on surviving, recovering, and delivering Myah safely. Once Myah arrived I became consumed with trying to decide whether I should have brain surgery. In the midst of all of this, I was approached about the golf benefit, color run, scholarships, and the Do Better. Be Better. Foundation. I wasn't ready for all of that at that time. Shortly after this initial meeting I found out that I was not a candidate for surgery. I could finally move on. Looking back, that meeting and those events sparked something in me. I owe a huge thank you to Justin Urbanek, Kelli Snyder, my graduating class, Dunkerton Schools, and Cedar Falls Schools for lighting that fire.
Over the last few months there have been more and more families that have been overcome with medical emergencies in our community. I want to help. And not only do I want to, but I feel like I am being called to. Almost like maybe this was God's plan for me--like this is why I had my stroke.
I am finally ready. Patrick and I are taking the leap and creating the Do Better. Be Better. Foundation instead of piggybacking with Cedar Falls Schools and Dunkerton Schools like we initially planned. Our research on foundations thus far frightens us. It is quite the undertaking that involves a lot of lingo that is way above my head. We have some early plans in the works and I am extremely excited about this new road that my journey has produced.
Maybe this foundation is what I have been aiming for. Maybe it is my answer to the infamous 'why me?' question. Maybe this is how I truly beat my stroke. This is for sure how I shine my light and repay all of you for all the kindness you have shown me.
This is how I can do better. This is how I can be better.
why
adverb \ˈhwī, ˈwī\
for what cause, reason or purpose
Why. This word has become my most single hated word in the English language. It is predominately used to ask a question: Why is? Why does, did, didn't? Why have? Why not?
Why me?
Why me? It is nearly impossible to refrain from asking this question when tragedy strikes. It is a natural reaction and it is damaging when asked too often. Have I looked up to the sky or closed my eyes really tight in frustration or worry and asked 'why me?' in the last fourteen months?
Absolutely.
Why did I have a stroke? Why do I have a rare brain condition? Why did it effect my vision? Why did it happen at such a young age? Why do I have permanent deficits?
Why did it happen to me?
It took me awhile to realize that the above question is completely selfish and awful to ask. By asking it, I am inadvertently inferring that I wish it would have happened to someone else. That is the last thing I would EVER wish for. Plus, no matter how many times I ask the 'why' questions the answers to them never change. They are fixed.
So instead I have tried to ask 'why me?' in a different context. As in, why have YOU chosen ME? When I ask the question this way, my stroke, my condition, and my recovery become purposeful. I find myself asking 'what can I do?' and 'how can I help?' much more often.
My focus when I had my stroke was solely on surviving, recovering, and delivering Myah safely. Once Myah arrived I became consumed with trying to decide whether I should have brain surgery. In the midst of all of this, I was approached about the golf benefit, color run, scholarships, and the Do Better. Be Better. Foundation. I wasn't ready for all of that at that time. Shortly after this initial meeting I found out that I was not a candidate for surgery. I could finally move on. Looking back, that meeting and those events sparked something in me. I owe a huge thank you to Justin Urbanek, Kelli Snyder, my graduating class, Dunkerton Schools, and Cedar Falls Schools for lighting that fire.
Over the last few months there have been more and more families that have been overcome with medical emergencies in our community. I want to help. And not only do I want to, but I feel like I am being called to. Almost like maybe this was God's plan for me--like this is why I had my stroke.
I am finally ready. Patrick and I are taking the leap and creating the Do Better. Be Better. Foundation instead of piggybacking with Cedar Falls Schools and Dunkerton Schools like we initially planned. Our research on foundations thus far frightens us. It is quite the undertaking that involves a lot of lingo that is way above my head. We have some early plans in the works and I am extremely excited about this new road that my journey has produced.
Maybe this foundation is what I have been aiming for. Maybe it is my answer to the infamous 'why me?' question. Maybe this is how I truly beat my stroke. This is for sure how I shine my light and repay all of you for all the kindness you have shown me.
This is how I can do better. This is how I can be better.
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